Boundaries are limits we identify for ourselves, and apply through action or communication. When we define what we need to feel secure and healthy, when we need it, and create tools to protect those parts of ourselves, we can do wonders for our well-being at work and at home — which, in turn, allows us to bring our best selves to both places. Here’s how to boundaries in healthy ways:
- First, figure out your “hard” and “soft” boundaries. Hard boundaries are your non-negotiables. Soft boundaries are goals that you want to reach but are flexible around. Knowing the difference will allow you to make choices that are aligned with your deepest needs and manage your energy as you work towards the rest.
- Try this exercise: Imagine that your life, as it is right now, is no longer possible. Say you get laid off, you can’t live in the town you live in, or you’re forced to change careers. What would do next? Would you miss? What would you not miss? Your answers will reveal your high-level priorities.
- Practice setting one hard boundary to protect your high-level priorities by limiting interactions or activities that are not the best use of your time. For example, if your high-level priority is to be less drained after work, cut back on a few energy-draining tasks.
- Next, think about your aspirations. Are there soft boundaries you can set to feel more productive, creative, and rested at work and at home? Test them out.
- Pay attention to how these behavioral changes make you feel. What boundaries do you want to stick with? What do you need to adjust? As you experiment, remember that the process is fluid, and may change over time.