Idea in Brief
The Problem
When both members of a couple have demanding careers, their work and personal lives are deeply intertwined—and often at odds.
The Transitions
Dual-career couples tend to go through three phases of being particularly vulnerable: when they first learn to work together as a couple; when they experience a midlife reinvention; and in the final stages of their working lives.
The Solution
Couples who communicate at each transition about values, boundaries, and fears have a good chance of being fulfilled both in their relationships and in their careers.
Camille and Pierre met in their early forties after each one’s marriage had ended. Both were deeply committed to their careers and to their new relationship. Camille, an accountant, had felt pressured by her ex-husband to slow her progress toward partnership at her firm. Pierre, a production manager at an automotive company, was embroiled in a bitter divorce from his wife, who had given up her career to accommodate the geographic moves that his required. (As with the other couples I’ve profiled in this article, these aren’t their real names.) Bruised by their past experiences, they agreed to place their careers on an equal footing. Initially things went smoothly, but two years in, Camille began to feel trapped on a professional path that she realized she had chosen because “that was what the smart kids did.”
