It was a throwaway comment, and you were unaware that it was demeaning. But now that a colleague has brought the slight to your attention, you realize what you said was offensive. As a person who wants to be a good ally to your colleagues of color and members of underrepresented groups, how do you apologize after you’ve committed a microaggression? How and when should you try to make amends? And what’s the best way to ensure that you do better in the future?
You’ve Been Called Out for a Microaggression. What Do You Do?
First, don’t make it about you.
July 24, 2020
Tara Moore/Getty Images
Summary.
As a person who wants to be an ally to members of marginalized groups, how should you respond after a colleague calls you out for committing a microaggression? First, make sure the other person feels heard. Replace your instinctive defensiveness with curiosity and empathy. Listen with an open heart and mind. Be grateful: Your colleague is telling you how you’re showing up in the world in order to help you become a more evolved person. Next, offer a sincere apology. Say something like, “Thank you for telling me. I appreciate that you trust me enough to share this feedback. I am sorry that what I said was offensive.” Finally, commit to doing better in the future. Say, “I care about creating an inclusive workplace and I want to improve. Please keep holding me accountable.”